Tuesday 9/10/2019 12:20 pm -- After dropping off baby A this morning, I parked on Jane Street, and walked over to Chelsea Piers to do a light workout -- mostly tuck holds and L-sits. Afterwards, I walked over to Chelsea Market, had three carne asada tacos at Dos Caminos, then headed back to LAB middle school to drop off some reams of loose leaf paper with Ms. Marilyn in room 111. She was upset that the school safety officer wanted to know why I wanted to see her. When that was all done, I walked over to 23rd street to do some writing over at the Muhlenberg Branch of the New York City public library. After a bit of wandering around, I headed to the back tables on the first floor next to the washrooms - the only tables with floor outlets. Within 2 minutes of sitting, I noticed the guy to my right.
White male, looked Russian, maybe Armenian, six feet tall, 190 lbs, long black hair pulled back in a ponytail, bushy eyebrows, salt-and-pepper moustache and beard resembling wildly overgrown pubic hair contoured into the shape of facial hair with the aid of a mask. He was wearing white earpod headphones plugged into a black 15" Acer laptop that he stared into without a whole lot of blinking. In his right hand, he occasionally spun a scroll-wheel mouse. He'd go back and forth from the mouse to the keyboard, a few times a minute. The frequency of keystrokes was low, which suggested to me that he was playing online poker or maybe watching porn. Once a minute, he would let out a 3-5 second long gravelly burp, punctuated by a long exhale that ended with the low moist sounds of a garbage disposal on the lowest RPM. At no point would his eyes come up. I counted a total of 27 burps before clearing my throat a little bit.
All of a sudden, the guy to my left let out a sharp giggle. Black male, 5' 10", 170 lbs, 35-40 years old, bald, khaki shorts and tank top, also wearing white earpod headphones. He was eyes down for 100% of the burping, totally unconcerned, not acknowledging it in the least, cradling his phone in his right hand, and typing with his thumb.
White male, looked Russian, maybe Armenian, six feet tall, 190 lbs, long black hair pulled back in a ponytail, bushy eyebrows, salt-and-pepper moustache and beard resembling wildly overgrown pubic hair contoured into the shape of facial hair with the aid of a mask. He was wearing white earpod headphones plugged into a black 15" Acer laptop that he stared into without a whole lot of blinking. In his right hand, he occasionally spun a scroll-wheel mouse. He'd go back and forth from the mouse to the keyboard, a few times a minute. The frequency of keystrokes was low, which suggested to me that he was playing online poker or maybe watching porn. Once a minute, he would let out a 3-5 second long gravelly burp, punctuated by a long exhale that ended with the low moist sounds of a garbage disposal on the lowest RPM. At no point would his eyes come up. I counted a total of 27 burps before clearing my throat a little bit.
All of a sudden, the guy to my left let out a sharp giggle. Black male, 5' 10", 170 lbs, 35-40 years old, bald, khaki shorts and tank top, also wearing white earpod headphones. He was eyes down for 100% of the burping, totally unconcerned, not acknowledging it in the least, cradling his phone in his right hand, and typing with his thumb.
"Boris sounds like me! Jesus, Mary, and Joseph! Wrong as all hell. Get your asses back in class. Shut up and sit down. Pump... pump... pump your brakes."The words make no sense to me. He stared into his phone intently though with a huge grin, typing away like mad with his right thumb. Suddenly, I become aware of a smell that reminded me of wet carpet. There have been - I shit you not - at least 100 burps in the time I've been here. But then, all hell broke loose at the next table.
Comments
Post a Comment